Fish Heads or Facelift?

Fish Heads or Face Lift
"Home Alone" on a Saturday night is the only reason any of this ever happened. I was told by several of my good intentionedfriends, to purchase many cans of sardines. That is after I was caught taping my face up and back in an attempt to give myselfa homemade mini face lift but the tape got all caught up in my hair anyway...I hate that. So I opted for the suggestion of Sardines. Instant face lift they said. Or close to instant. I purchased several cans of sardines, cheap, expensive, and in between. I had never in my life faced those little critters before now. I left them sitting on the cupboard for about two months, unopened of course, so as to avoid the "head to head" final contact. Already the instant face lift had lost its way. My sonfinally ate all but one can. People were still telling me the wonderful little creatures would stunt my aging process. I am usually rather gullable, but this time I highly doubted. We had gone from instant lift to merely stunting what I already had. Not long after at a party I dove in andlet my friends serve me the critters in the soybean oil atop whole wheat crackers. Might has well have been worms on crackers, but I did it.By the way these friends were "whose who" with more money than God and about the same amount of connections. So maybe it would connect me somehow, these little creatures and wealth, if not a face lift anyway. It was when I saw the little spine bone sticking out atme screaming, or was that me, along with the rest of the body parts, I quit! I politely washed them down with some fine Scotch and went home with my same face.I was sure the way I was feeling was because I just ate the stomach and head of something which made me mental for an hour until the Scotch took it away. By the way my son ate the last can.My next trip to the store I noticed some fish I remembered my Dad used to eat when I was a little girl. Chubs. I found them in the fish section and sure enough there they were, but at least bigger and de-gutted. How do you de-gutt Sardines the size of your little finger and get it all? The label on the Chubs was covering the heads so I put them in the cart and off I went.It was another Saturday night and I am home alone, no date, nothing on TV but QVC. So out come the Chubs. I opened the package which moved the label and exposed the heads. Memories....I pretended they weren't there so not to get mental again plus I didn't have any Scotch.I cut into the middle and began my face lift. BONES....suddenly I remembered at age nine my Dad choking and we all had to go to the emergency room. Yup, a bone stuck in his throat from fish. They took one of those big silver long prongs and put them into his mouth and way downhis throat and, and, out came the bone. Big Bone. Yes I remembered. So I had gotten past the heads and now was dealing with FEARBONES. Then cat suddenly appeared out of no where and joined the picnic on the counter at 10:30p.m. with me, and the heads, and QVC.The cat had no fear, He sniffed, took a few bites, and left. My son came up from his retreat stereo surround sound room as the smell had drifted thru the vents and once again he took over those nasty heads for me. Let his "face lift" because I decided I am into accepting myself for who I am without eating fish and their heads and innerds. Actually cosmetic surgery might be easier for me. I never was good at with this sort of thing since my Mother told me I made mud pies when I was three and she caught me eating the worms in said pies.....that is why I don't do spaghetti either. Good day.....
Posted by "The Happy News Lady" at 6:30 PM
Labels: Instant Face Lift from Sardines.....