Baseball Talk by Clutch Cargoe (son of Julianna Rowe)

 My Texas Friend Talks Baseball with Her Son.....

Kids do not learn from being continually told what to do. They do not find their path when someone else (parents included) imposes their beliefs on them 24/7. I lived with someone who had to have it their way always, (controlling) while I was growing up.

Children learn by being asked questions and shown the consequences of their decisions and actions. Sometimes they have negative results, sometimes positive. What and which do you think will stay with them depends on how each is presented.

My Texas friend and I were conversing by phone one day. She told me about her children, who are very into baseball and play every season. She told me of an incident when, after a game, she and her son got into the car, and her son said to her, "Mom, what did I do wrong in the game?" I would rather his self-confidence would have told him what he did right and therefore he wouldn't have been so immediately worried about what he did wrong. But then, that is how society works with these children. It should be viewed more as a game where we all make mistakes we can learn from! OK back to the boy's question to his mother: "How did I do?" My friend and I discussed an alternative answer for her to use. I suggested that when the boy asks questions, she asks him questions instead of giving him the answers. By giving him the answers, she is not allowing the child to grow and learn to make personal decisions on his own as he is relying on Mom's answer. And by Mom telling him what he did wrong, that takes all the responsibility off him for his actions or inactions.

Ask him what he thinks he did right or wrong. Get him to analyze his actions for the better or the worse. That gives him control to decide, learn from, and make adjustments, which will build his confidence. It doesn't matter if he thinks he did good or bad. What matters is that he is analyzing and discussing his actions from his perspective, which builds his confidence and teaches him how to navigate problems, versus Mom and Dad or whoever answering how it should or shouldn't be done, which turns out to be "the easy way out" for the boy who later in life cannot solve problems and may become angry because he has no self-confidence. I am certainly not saying he will be this way. This is only an example. I am also not saying this is the answer for everyone, but it could be a useful tool to help. Thank you for your time and for reading my thoughts.

Be safe. Be well. Be Happy, and communicate! Clutch out til' next time