The Cleaning Lady...... Will Never Tell! by Julianna Rowe

 I have a business called "A Green Experience," which means my clients choose to have their homes cleaned using all natural Green (cleaning) supplies. I have seen everything from "erp," and I don't mean Wyatt, in bathroom trash containers, to enough dog hair from one cleaning to make forty wigs. OK, so four wigs. But I'll never tell.

The other day, one of my clients approached my daughter, who occasionally worked with me, and asked her if she could clean the Green cleaner off his toilet seat after cleaning it with said Green cleaner.

She said, "Sure, but why?" He said, "Because I got stuck to it!"

I couldn't stop laughing because I wanted so badly to say, "No, it is not the Green Cleaner. It's that you sit too long, sir!

You have stacks of magazines, crossword puzzles, and pens, heck it looks like an office next to the toilet. My Grandpa used to say, "Either sit there and think or sit there and stink." Sorry, but he was an old Farmer, and when I was just old enough to read, I saw that written (a tad differently) on the outhouse wall.

There was an old Sears Catalog in Pa's outhouse for the purpose of wiping. I crumpled the pages and rubbed them together to soften them for obvious reasons. I was six years old!! If you have never wiped with a piece of paper, you have missed out on a piece of life. But then, I have never used a leaf, and I don't figure I have missed out on a darn thing.

OK, so back to what I have seen. Sweat so thick on walking machines it is yellow; no, I won't clean that up! I have seen closets I wouldn't let the cleaning lady see. Now I know why my friends always cleaned up before the cleaning lady came. I love seeing a beautiful black flat stove top someone used like they were cooking over a campfire. And I am supposed to figure out how to get a quarter of an inch of black crust off it. But I'll never tell. How about teenager's rooms where you can't see the floor for the clothes and glasses of water and bowls and trash and SPIDERS? One of my clients tells me I forgot to dust off the top of the furnace regulator. Yet the inside of the closet looks like a trash bin. But I'll never tell. Once, I even got fired for cleaning the cat's water fountain, which was unfit for carp... You have to laugh at that one.

Then there are those people who have been blessed financially but don't take care of what they were blessed with...I am speaking of the tangible items their money buys them. I am in awe of the number of shoes people have, the organic foods, the pottery and artwork, the remodeling, the closets bigger than my bedroom, the seven bathrooms, and so on, but I'll never tell. I don't mind, I get to people watch, which is one of my favorite pass times, and I get paid for it. I keep in mind that I nurture a home, which is my job. Whatever they do with it beyond that, I can only watch for the humor of it all.

The above Photo is not of me! Don't you wish, and so do I! And note that this bottom picture was a bad day after the toilet went over and down the steps! Cute socks, huh?