Dead in the Water.....

 The Eye of My Murder:  A Short Fiction Story by Julianna Rowe 

Part V:  Dead in the Water 

And then I heard the words, “Hi Baby.”

I whirled around only to see J.W. holding a flashlight under his chin to look scary like we used to do as kids. And that he did. Like the frightening clown face who hides his true intentions. I screamed as though I was about to be murdered. I was. If J.W. couldn’t have me no one could. 

Boomer was my weakness and J.W.’s way of getting to me. He wanted to make me suffer before he killed me.   He also knew my greatest fear in life was water.  So, that was his choice of weapon and I suddenly, knew it.

My mother had tried to kill me also but in a different way. She tried to kill me spiritually with words of my worthlessness and by taking me out of her WILL, giving my sister her entire estate of two million dollars. What had I ever done to her except look and act like my father? And that is a good thing because I wouldn’t have wanted to be like her in any lifetime.

My basketball court was now a fighting zone. Offense and defense were engaged in serious fucking battle. Satan had arrived. I was always taught he isn’t stronger than God but it sure looked that way.  What were my strategies?  J.W. was taller, bigger, and stronger.  But then again, I was always taught God is bigger. Bigger than J.W. So, I screamed at him the only way I knew who to fight

I screamed, “God, don’t let Satan have me. Forgive me for not seeing it!” 

I screamed so loud it hurt my throat, ears, and rattled my frail anxiety ridden brain. I believe those words hurt J.W.’s ears too because he stepped back, eyes wide, before he cackled a demonic laugh and lunged at me. As he lunged the damp ground caused him to slip losing his hold on me but I continued to fall toward the canal and somehow ended up hanging onto the edge of the cement wall trying with all my strength to pull myself back up onto land. His face distorted into a tight state of horror, eyes glistening on their own as he threw his arms straight up toward the sky in a sign of defeat then stomped on my already white knuckled fingers with his boot. He reminded me of Goliath from the Bible stories. That was the man I created and loved standing over me kicking me. I hit the dark dirty murky water hard. I was in shock. Surely God would not let me die of my worst fear. But then they say you get what you fear and I had gotten more than that. I had gotten J.W. with all his and my generational past demons.  And now my cat was alone and scared somewhere or J.W. had thrown him into the canal too. I was sinking, dying, swallowing over and over trying not to suck the filth of dirty dark green canal water into my lungs. 

I tried to tread the cold water but I had never learned to tread water even though I had tried. 

I couldn’t learn to swim or tread water due to fear but now it was life or death. J.W. stood on the tall cement embankment laughing at me in a horrible frightening demonic voice. He shouted to me how he had thrown Boomer in the dirty canal too. He shouted.

"Suck in the mud bitch because that’s what you are anyway".  

He was then screaming how I was mean to him, how I tried to trick him all the time trying to make him think he was crazy and how I was a manipulator, and a whore like his mother.  Those malignant filled words gave me the will to fight.  The anger and hate of the demon moving J.W. to go to such hideous lengths pissed me off to the moon. I would be damned if I would die at his feet. He should be damned, not me! My spirit had already died many times over at his use of control and verbal abuse. Suddenly the spirit reminded me I knew how to float. I was freezing and terrified but I knew how to float on my back and so I did.  Then the spirit told me to remain totally silent.  After that, fear never touched me again for the next several minutes even though J.W. was shining the flashlight all about the dark canal waters trying to find me after my thrashing halted. He found me but what could he do? I remained calm and I do not know how except by God’s grace and my strong Guardian Angel’s arms.  J.W.’s light found me silently floating which made his evil go into high gear while he continued shining the horrible light into my face hollering more derogatory remarks at me, but I never budged.

He roared. “Here piggy piggy. You pitiful excuse for a woman.  You were born to spread your legs for all the boys and that is all your good for!”  

He was using every tactic he had used on me for years but with greater tenacity.

I had been afraid of drowning all my life.  Whenever I passed a large or small body of water, I feared my car would go into it all by itself. Or someone would venture from their lane into mine causing my vehicle to take flight into the drenk. I carried a hammer everywhere in case I needed to break my car window and get out. I unbuckled my seat belt whenever near water or crossing a bridge because that would be one thing less, I had to try to remember to do if immersed.  You know the rules, undue seat belt, unlock doors and window, open window, climb out, and pray you have no pets or children to try to get out also. I also prayed someone was nearby that would jump in and save me because I couldn’t swim. I tried to learn as a child more than once but fear held me back.

Sometimes we don’t get what we need until the last minute. The Bible calls it "Grace." That is one thing I had learned in life.  I wasn’t always happy about it, but that is and was the way of the Universe. He, the greater being, comes when you most need him and for me it was definitely the last moment.  But he also gave me strength at the exact second I needed it, and that is when he, J.W. came for me.

J.W. was still shining the light into my eyes mimicking the way he had always tried to control me with his manipulating tongue and bad brain. This time by using a flashlight in my face while he hoped to watch me die. Why? But I didn’t care why anymore.

It was then I started to think about Boomer. I was allowing the flesh to reenter which was a terrible mistake. All my mind could see was Boomer being thrown into that awful stinking water. Boomer flailing about eyes open wider than possible searching for my face, my being, to save him as I had done before in his life. Swallowing canal muck until his belly was so bloated he choked on the reflux of water overflowing his stomach causing him to vomit it up and back into his lungs. But I never came. I abandoned him in his death. Poor Boomer had died aspirating and thrashing that horrible dark canal alone. That is when I started losing control of my ability to float. The analogy came into my brain that the opposition stole the basketball on my court to freedom and I would never be able to make a basket or win a game again.

J.W. started laughing. I couldn’t hear it anymore as I was about to give up. I could hear a siren getting closer, and then more sirens, but it didn’t pierce my brain as anything that might help me. I had given up.

And then I heard a scream. A loud scream. The girl from the front desk was screaming at J.W. She threw up her leg and knocked him down hard. Apparently, she had taken self-defense classes. He never moved again until the police arrived.  I found out later she wasn’t supposed to work that shift but someone called in due to their car not starting. I say it was my God, Guides, Angels, Mother Mary, a few Saints, and the Holy Spirit.

She took the flashlight from J.W.’s hand and shone it on me hollering she found Boomer. 

That was it!  I started fighting.  Who would think a cat could save my life.  I guess it was KARMA.  I had saved his life and in turn he saved mine. In a different way of course but no less the outcome.

The firemen dropped a ladder and somehow, I learned to swim to it in that moment in time. Not that I hadn’t swallowed a lot of very nasty water.  Believe me the taste remains to this day.  But I try to associate it with the positive of Boomer being found and my life being given an umpteenth chance.  I am one experienced in chances.  I used to believe you could run out of chances but I lived to say that is wrong.

J.W. was arrested on charges of attempted murder.  He failed the mental tests for trial and was sent to a hospital for the criminally insane for fifteen years.  I became lifelong friends with the female desk clerk, Lori who got me into her self defense classes. My cousins became my closest forever family.  I got a job and a very nice apartment overlooking downtown where Callie, Boomer, and I finally found our peace on earth.  Oh, and I married the hot fireman who dragged me out of that filthy canal while I threw up green muck all over him. That is the kind of man to treasure and “I do”.  

 The End.