Only ONE No Good Bad Day! By Julianna Rowe

 

As I pondered the reflection of myself in the mirror I saw a stranger in my own eyes.  I wanted to run away, look away, not feel, not know, and not listen to whoever I or she was and whatever I or she was thinking while I continued anyway.  Looking deeper into her golden brown eyes.  Who was she?  Who is she?  It is supposed to be me, one person with one reflection, but it is two. The mouth seems to be mine but the eyes to her soul aren’t mine.  She doesn’t shine from within anymore. Gently her tears fall one by one as her soul floods sadly and slowly from within. 

Whose eyes are those if not mine? A worn-out soul? A battered heart? Lines from painful years of misjudgment criss-cross “her” face.  Pain dulls the old sparkle she used to give to anyone within seeing distance. Now I see doubt.  Indecision.  Fear. There is no comfort in her eyes.  She tries to smile through a spirit that has given in; to letting life make her decisions. She is more than the reflection. She is trying to tell me we need to come together to bring back the old vivacity. That she cannot do it alone. She feels unequipped. Unbalanced.  Her neck is tight. Her brain is privately frozen. If she died today it would not be a finished work of art, rather a canvas with splashes of bright yellow happiness under black splatters of ink suppressing much of the shining light beneath.  Damn those that take away, or did they? Is she rather a product of a scabillion cells from a cotillion ancestors who lay dormant in the vast Universe waiting for one human to evolve past all theirs and her bad cells on her own?  Or is she simply at an impasse of her own making? Trapped in a room with no locked door, yet a strong magnetic translucent veil resembling a thick liquid and waving like a flag emanating freedom hindering any escape from the self-made prison…. in lockdown. 

 Just a momentary glitz.

Tomorrow it will all be better, it always is.