MPOW Headphones

       That stands for "Me a Prison of War" to these headphones.  Pink headphones. That is truly the reason I bought them.  A friend of mine messaged me that Menard's had a set of Pink headphones (obviously she knew I like pink,) for $14.95 and the sound is good for listening to books.

       My kitchen is pink, my clothes lean toward all pink, I think pink, and if I were younger my hair would be pink!  That said....I went to Menard's same day. All sold out!  Went online. No pink left. So I upgraded and ordered a PINK pair (I have learned to dislike the word pair) for $39.95. Amazon Prime. Two days later they arrived to my excitement. (Which didn't last long)I cut open the box with vigor.  Wow, even got a grey suede pouch to travel them in.  Problem was I have never figured out how to fold them up. No instructions.  I pull out the little book and I mean LITTLE with little print and little instructions. ALOT of other languages of little print.  So as not to further confuse me I cut the other extra pages of languages off with my trusty scissors causing the entire little book to fall apart all about my desk.  Might I add no page numbers.  I had to wing it. Then I found the page #'s!

       I guess I forgot I hadn't owned a pair of headphones for decades. I pulled them out of the box, charged them up pushed the button on the side of the right headphone and the darn thing talked to me.  Scared the hell outta me which I could stand to lose anyway. It said, "You are connected!"  Connected to what?  As a blue and red light blinked all around my ear like an outer space toy.

       I removed the pretty pink talking blinking "thing" and began to examine it.  What was I truly dealing with here?  All I wanted was to listen to a book.  But I figured I better read the little instruction book or that may not ever happen. 

       In fact after I accidentally made a phone call with "Them headphones" that now seemed alive to me, to a lawyer after hours....I set them gently on the side of my desk for at least a week before re-attempting a relationship with them.

       Then  I start reading the fine print. Again

      

 There are five pages of how to short press, long press, how many seconds for this and that and all on one inch and a half circle on the side of my  head.   It also appears I can talk to "it" and "it" will respond and talk back. 
1- power on
2- Pairing with phone, PC, watches, TV, and probably the neighbors!!
3- Phone 1 connect
4- Phone 2 connect
5- disconnect
6- volume (ah ha!)
7- mute
8- Switch on = blue light flashes 3 times
9- Switch off = red light flashes 2 times
10-incoming call = red and blue take turns flashing  Dear God
11- Pairing = red and blue take turns and voice talks to me
12- Connection = Blue light flashed one time every 6 seconds
13- Music and phone calls same as 12.
14- Low Battery = will get a doo doo doo sound.  Now that is appropriate for all this mess.
15- Charging = Red light on all the time / do not use during.
   
CHECK THIS PAGE OUT: Key Function

       Need I number and explain ?  Nope! 

       I have dyslexia.  These headphones are one of my worst nightmares other than death by dismemberment.  In a dream of course. After accidentally calling my lawyer I have become afraid of my new pink gadget. What is it going to do next?  Whatever I tell it to do which is the issue at hand. Or head.  I need a mirror to see which side of the little circle to hold for 2.5 seconds etc. But then it would show me backwards!   Do you recall being a kid and having to learn to comb your hair while looking in the mirror?  Well I can.  Or setting your hair in rollers in the 60's.  I guess if I learned how to roll hair in the mirror I maybe can learn this???????

And as for the Audio Cable!  I do not have a clue which hole to put that in on my PC.  Is that for microphone or listening?  I am a fairly intelligent human being.  I think what has happened is a few decades of getting behinder. I took shorthand in school. I took typing.  I took art class.  I learned cursive and etiquette. I took Home where they taught us to cook and sew which I realize now earned me no Social Security whatsoever.  Nor did those five babies I had!  Nor did the three husbands had I killed I would have been out by now.  Of course we know I am kidding on that one. Sort of. That was my Mother's old Buick.  I have since upgraded to a new SUV  but couldn't find my photo of new bloody leg.

       So here I sit with my cutesy pink headphones from outer space techno-land.  If I ask my Granddaughter she will ZIP thru an explanation for me while I stare at her like a deer in headlights.
     
       Then she will calmly say, "What don't you get?"  So I have learned how not to be treated. I don't ask. 

       I put them on for you all very carefully so I wouldn't "eardial" anyone by mistake.  Your getting the early morning sunglasses, no makeup, shot of Grandma in her pink headphones she cant operate.