I Lost My Planner! OMG! by Diane Ogden

Seriously....and at a place almost as awful as WalMart.  Its called corporate Woodman's in Madison Wisco. A grocery store by the way.  I set the planner down after I took the CASH out of it to pay, what a fool I am! No one pays CASH and this proves why.  I remember (which is rare anymore) getting the change back from from the "cachew cachew" machine, taking the dollars and one five out and I think putting it in the planner. Yes I keep money in my planner. I also clip it in there with a clippy dealie doo. A serious clippy dealie doo which didn't seem to matter today because I lost the whole darn thingy doo dealie duh!  Listen, all my clients, my gas receipts for the year, phone #'s, when my dog was in heat last, when I was (just kidding), when my daughter speaks to me and when she has sabbaticals against me and doesn't speak to me, (sad but true).  All sorts of information in that little do da day booklet someone has there creepy hands on.  I say creepy because my mwah name and number is in the front of it.  Arsbutts who found my money should have called already, but hey they wont because that class of human being butt doesn't want me to know they took the lousy little $30-50 dollars. 
I have decided to beat them.  I will email all my people and explain the loss and believe they will be patient and wait until I remember when I last knew them!  LOL OMG How could this happen. But then I don't have cancer, I don't have lost limbs, I don't have hunger, I don't work in Afghanistan, (and probably cant even spell it correctly), and so on......I merely lost my planner and have ways to correct that.  And I have food (my comment when people discuss the loss of $), and I have gas in my car, and my pets are well, and so on and so on......  Heck maybe someone will call saying they found it. That is after I prove to the Universe I remembered all that was in it!  Eeeww. Don't hold thy breath on that one. I have been known to fail the three word test several times.  God knows me!  And he loves me anyway they say.  So there!  Wish he would bring my planner back. (It is not as big as the one in the borrowed photo)  I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. 
WILL LET CHA KNOW.....