The Polygamist Wife Hairdo....by Diane Ogden

When the news offers a story regarding the Mormon beliefs on men marrying more than one woman and shows the photos of the many wives, they all have their hair pulled back and UP!  I have had so many bad hair cuts the past few years that I now just pull it back and apologize to myself for looking like a polygamist wife. Polygamy means to "marry often" which I have done also...just not all at once.
Maybe that would have been easier.  One big mess vs three drawn out messes.  Regardless, this is the first time my hair has ever and I mean EVER looked polygamied, polygafied, polygamurdered, and so on.  Every morning when I attempt to fix it before leaving the house I say and do things as unbecoming as my hair cut, to the mirror.
I mean any dummie wouldn't cut hair like this second photo shows it was cut!!
Nasty.

I have since decided to cut it myself.  I let it grow and then snip...let it grow and snip.  Finally it will get there without help from some snot nose young person or even a seasoned tech (which I paid dearly for)  both of which gave me a reversed mullet.  Whaaaattt?  Whyyyy?  I am not a twenty something who likes the new chop cuts.  And I informed the cutter of this.  To not avail.  I also call this cut, "The Dog Ears."  Flops hanging down on the sides and then longer pieces underneath.  See why I am not slowly snipping my own hair? 
I had it almost grown out from the last one (took two years) and then trusted a referral from a trusted friend. Whalla, I lost my 6 inch pony tail and was right (fright) back to the reversed mullet as below.  That is all they know how to cut.  I took pictures in, told them I was not a dog in case they couldn't tell.  And that I knew I was older and wasn't expecting plastic hair surgery.  Just wanted a precision cut not a chop cut or dog ear cut.  They all have a new disease called, "I cant hear you!"  Snip Snip and never go back. Frustration = polygamist hair doo!

It'll be ok..... Because I am not one of several wives.  Thank God cause if I were I wouldn't get any attention with this cut.  Or maybe I would get more, who knows?  Not going there!