The Happy News for Today....by Diane Ogden

The world did not end
The cat that ate my roses today did not die
or......throw up
My car is running like a good time piece
I am upright and speaking clearly
I did not get to watch a shooting from road rage today out on Hiway M, just almost
I have food
I do not live in Joplin, Missouri where the horrible tornado killed many
I am not related to Bin Ladin
My Father is alive at 85
I am on no medications at my glorious age
I am not fat (well, a little)
I have a bed to sleep in tonight
I just filled my tank with gas and had some cash left for a coffee
My novel is being edited (next published!)
Oprah would be proud of my little gratitude list....  screw O...., no I mean phooeey Oprah....(she could kill the deficit so of course she is grateful. )I didn't mean it when I said the screw thingy!  That is 60's talk still in my head from the 60's of course.  I bet Oprah says screw her cook every day!  I heard a comedian say Oprah has enough $ to have someone standing there slapping food out of her hand daily. True.  I don't have enough money to have bad fattening sick food slapped outta my hand daily so that be the reason for the 7 lb gain blogpost a few days  back. Where or where can I find a slapper?? duh.  I rather ride my exercise bike thank you...been there done that slapped thing. No thank you......and thank GOD I learned that one early in the scheme of life.  See, that is good news.  Bye Oprah.

I have lived through Johnny Carson, Oprah and God all in one lifetime. Oh shitski I forgot Elvis. What more could I ask for?  Nothing because there "ain't" time for no more unless I live to be 100 (0) and can still understand TV or whatever they will call it next. Not so sure I wanna live that long just to have the above little list.  But then when my novel sells I will lengthen my list and desire to live longer.  Now that is good news Charlie.  Who's Charlie?  Could be Charlie Brown, could be my first X Charlie the slapper...we call him Chuck the F__!  The good news is he's dead so it's OK.
More good news.....this blog is over.