If I Die Before I Wake.... by Diane Ogden

If I die before I wake, someone better not use an ugly picture of me on the church bulletin or the newspaper obit or the funeral notice note card.   And I mean it too.  I do hope my God Father does not read this, or any of Berdie's close folks.  Although come on people...get real.  Didn't a one of you take a nice pic of Berdie in the few years.  I am appalled and embarrassed for Berdie.  She was a gorgeous woman most all of her life.  Even as she lay in the casket of which I should have taken a picture of just for this moment in earth time.  The hicks used the pic of her when she was admitted to the last dying mill (nurse home) and she had been sick.  I cant even keep it in my picture box it's so awful.  Her last picture for all who came to bid her farewell was kindly put icky poo.  I am sure Berdie doesn't care now....or does she?  Maybe she is laughing...  I don't think so at all.  Thank God the food they served at the funeral was good.  Really good by the way.  And the pastor knew her from their visits over the  many years.  That was good. But that picture "ain't" the Berdus (Berdie) he visited or I ever visited or any of her other relatives visited.  Whoever decided to use that piece of bad art may get a visit from Ms Berdie before she takes off for planets unknown.  They could have asked me, I am known as the picture lady as well as the "Happy News Lady!" Ya should have seen her all so pretty laying in that big box to be buried.  Hell they should display her somewhere as the most beautiful woman in the world for age 98!  Up there with Michael Jackson for God sakes... and all the other wax museum people.  They should have waxed Berdie for sure... Me, I would haunt the sucker that used that nasty pic on my last day here...of course unless God stepped in and told me to squash it D and move on....LLOL.  That means  "Lord Laughing Out Loud! Bet Berdie's not!