Spring? Finally! by Diane Ogden

I do believe Spring finally arrived in Wisconsin. Not that we haven't waited a very long time for it. Or is it Summer we are getting confused by. Spring is when you wear light blue and pink sweaters so I could and should say, "Spring is finally over??" We have had a few warm sunny days to splendor in. And many chilly days I get to laugh at the over zealous nut cases in shorts and sandals with goosebumps for accessories. I may drive around with a key in my trunk (its broken) but I am fully dressed with the accompany of a heater should I so need one. Arrogant, nope, because I am sure I am still one of the very few Americans who doesn't have a CD player in my car.

As for the birds, no not its for the birds, but as for them.....I like birds, not like some people do, just that I share space with them. But come Spring you can find me outside with my old sun dress on, cowpie boots, and Dad's old 30 ought shot-gun! Along with a huge plastic owl that sits on my porch to scare them away. Why? Because first I have to listen to them mate which entails screeching and calling and all sort of carryings on.... We'd get arrested if we did that..... then they nest in, and by Lord you just try and get out your door to walk your dog or just get out your door which is now their door... They dive my head, my dog...they scream some more... they fight each other protecting their young, they frippin take over. And try to sleep with a cool breeze coming in the window. NOT! They start at around 4:30 a.m. And that's it, I'm up, so is the dog, the cat is chirping in the window ready for all 300 of them...and I cant even get out of the house. There are no bird police....if I shoot that 30 ought in town I suspect I will see no birds at the jailhouse and if there are I can't open the windows.... So picture that 8 x 10 glossy.... the old lady and the birds! And who do you think wins another round another year? You got it...."The Birds." Wasn't that a movie a hundred years ago?