Dont Fart at the Funeral! by Diane Ogden

I wonder if anyone else ever worries about that. I am off to the x's funeral. Jeez, I cant believe it, he died. And I am worried about farting. Sure I am, I am the x and his family would love it if I slipped up, especially from that end. I think its too late for Beano...you know, take Beano and there'll be no gas. Yup too late, anyway this isn't from beans...its from nerve endings...all over the place. I hide it well except on that end...cant hide those sometimes and depending on where you are at, you cant always blame it on those darn cows, or the dog. Aint none of those at the church. Anyway, what's the big deal, at least I am alive to fart! My friend says I should say fert...so I refuse to fert at the funeral. The end. p.s. If I hadn't sampled the broccoli casserole and stuck to my normal half peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but I didn't.... we're off.