Lost in the Past, Speeding in the Present

Obviously I never took one whole picture of my "old '94 Lincoln." God I loved that car! It was not one of those long honkers rather the short sport continental with a blue cloth top.

Today I was driving on what we call our Beltline Highway that circles the city. Some people call it an Expressway, others give it a number like Highway 12 & 18. I was on my way to a job across town and leisurely maintaining 50 mph due to the "stupid" price of gas. I was daydreaming when I saw something familiar which brought me back from one dreamland and cast me into another one far from that Beltline Highway. My eyes fixated on it and my heart started to beat to a different time and set of drums. I felt an excitement growing within my mind and soul...so now we had my heart, mind, and now foot involved and growing heavier on the gas peddle. I did have some sort of sense left as I recall looking at the speed-o-meter! 55.......on to 60......my eyes still fixated on a time in life that was good and pleasurable. The kids were bustling about the house and the ten year dog hadn't died, nor had the nineteen or fifteen year old cats. There were two beautiful little Foster Daughters and hope for more. There was fun and activity and more life force happening. 65mph......I'm coming, I'm coming....wait for me, don't dissappear.....70....72.......75. I had to get it back, to catch it..... I changed lanes and set my blinker to head South away from my destination job site. Sense came back for a minute as I checked about for red and blue swirling lights anywhere in site. There was an adrenal rush like no coffee or Dew I ever had in a long time. I was calling in that life force and making it happen with my foot! I'm coming, wait....I need you, you are hope, you are a happy time, you are love and faith and a knowing there is more. You are safety and security...for God sakes wait for me...... I finally slowed enough to make the exit ramp and headed North and caught it!!! I had made it but there was no relief, only a couple tears because the realization and awakening all rushed back into my body, mind and soul. The car I had raced to catch and had put my life in danger over, and was not my "old '94 Lincoln." It was similar but not the same. Nothing is the same. The kids are all grown and the dog and both cats died, the Foster girls are in different States and dammit I really want my car back. Or at least a little replica of it for the "memory mantle." Time changes everything and for a few minutes today I got lost in the past, speeding in the present to find those fun youthful times again. A daydream? Yes, but they are good memories and that Lincoln is out there somewhere with a new engine and I want it! "What if" it had been my Lincoln, what was I planning to do if I "caught" up to it today? Make him sell it to me is what!! Good memories are worth whatever you can pay for them. Rather it be in the garage than on the mantle. Never-the-less it will always be in my heart, yes with the kids too. Racing after life dreams in reverse? Stop it!